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Unlocking the Secrets to a Fulfilling Sex Life I Dr. Molly Maloof (Encore)
In this episode, Dr. Molly Maloof returns for an eye-opening conversation on the intersections of intimacy, relationships, and longevity. Discover why connection and intimacy are foundational to health and learn actionable strategies to enhance your relationships and overall well-being. Dr. Maloof also shares insights on the science of love, the role of human connection in longevity, and her groundbreaking Adamo Method—a modern approach to intimacy and sexual health.
🔑 KEY TOPICS 🔑
-How human connection impacts health and longevity
-The science of intimacy and rekindling passion in relationships
-Why intimacy and sexuality are often overlooked in wellness
-How the Adamo Method transforms sexual satisfaction
-Practical strategies to embrace your feminine energy
🕐 TIMESTAMPS 🕐
[00:00] Introduction to Dr. Molly Maloof
[01:02] Why intimacy and connection are essential for health
[03:25] Strategies to overcome loneliness and isolation
[06:17] Dr. Molly’s journey into the science of love
[09:06] Key factors for longevity: energy, connection, and purpose
[12:45] How relationships affect health and longevity
[15:35] The Adamo Method: Transforming intimacy and love
[20:31] Study results: Improving passion, intimacy, and connection
[25:36] Exploring suction-based intimacy for deeper connection
[29:00] Embodied consent and creating safe sexual experiences
[33:50] Communicating sexual needs constructively
[37:27] The impact of relationships on vaginal and overall health
[41:08] Embracing femininity and balancing energies
🎙️ GUEST 🎙️
Dr. Molly Maloof
Website: https://drmolly.co/
Website: https://www.livingadamo.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmolly.co
🌐 LET'S CONNECT 🌐
Host: Orshi McNaughton
Website: https://www.optimizedwomen.com/
Podcast Links: https://optimized-women.captivate.fm/listen
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@optimizedwomen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/optimizedwomen
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Transcript
What sex is really about.
Speaker A:It's a life giving, sacred act that is not really addressed the same way.
Speaker A:Nutrition, fitness, sleep, stress and detoxification, gut health is.
Speaker A:It's not looked at it.
Speaker A:We don't look at our sex lives like we look at all these other aspects of our wellness.
Speaker A:But typically when people get divorced, it's because of their finances or their sex life.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Optimized Woman, the podcast for high performing women ready to take back their health.
Speaker B:I'm Orshi McNaughton, a board certified holistic health practitioner and functional nutritionist.
Speaker B:If you're tired of feeling stuck, you can't lose the weight.
Speaker B:No matter what you do, your energy is in the toilet, your metabolism feels like it's at a standstill, and you lost the spark you once had, then you're in the right place.
Speaker B:We are here to unleash the unstoppable force you meant to be and give you the tools to fix what's holding you back.
Speaker B:So if you're ready to own it, start thriving again and live the life you deserve.
Speaker C:And let's get to it.
Speaker B:Hey, welcome, friends.
Speaker B:Today I'm excited to bring Dr.
Speaker B:Molly Malou back on the show for a bold and unapologetic conversation about sexual health, intimacy, and how we can all experience a more fulfilling sex life.
Speaker B:We dive deep into the science of connection, pleasure and intimacy and why good sex is essential for well being and longevity.
Speaker B:In this episode, we discuss a new approach to sex therapy that teaches couples how to rekindle desire, overcome routine, and rediscover passion in the bedroom.
Speaker B:Get ready for a fresh and candid conversation on a topic that rarely gets the attention it deserves.
Speaker B:So let's dive right in.
Speaker A:We are designed to live in tribes.
Speaker A:We're meant to be around people.
Speaker A:We're not meant to live alone.
Speaker A:We're not meant to be alone.
Speaker A:And the problem with living out of alignment with our genetic design is that our genes are programmed for primitive life and we are living in modern life.
Speaker A:And so in primitive life, if you are alone and you are not encountering a lot of people, let's say, are in the outskirts of the tribe and in the forest, you would be most likely to be attacked by a neighboring tribe or a wild animal.
Speaker A:And so loneliness is designed to be this hunger signal to bring you closer to your tribe.
Speaker A:It's basically a warning light.
Speaker A:It's like, hey, something's wrong.
Speaker A:I need you to go to safety.
Speaker A:So the nervous system does not actually go into a state of calm unless it's in the presence of people that we still feel, we feel safe with.
Speaker A:The thing about that is, if you live in an unsafe environment or a lonely environment, or let's say you just don't know your neighbors, that alone can create the conditions where your nervous system goes into a state of hypervigilance.
Speaker A:And that hypervigilance state is unfortunately where your body has a higher allostatic load.
Speaker A:And an allostatic load is essentially a cumulative amount of stress that your body can, can take before it starts to break.
Speaker A:And if that allostatic load is basically compounded by the various facts of living alone or being isolated, that means that your nervous system is going to be more stressed on a baseline.
Speaker A:You're going to be more of a, in a sympathetic state as a baseline.
Speaker A:That's going to be harder for you to heal.
Speaker A:It's going to be harder for your body to heal itself because you need to be in parasympathetic to heal.
Speaker A:So are there ways that we can biohack this right?
Speaker A:Because not everyone gets the luxury of living in a tribe or a communal house or even having a family.
Speaker A:And I would say yes.
Speaker A:And there's a few things that I would recommend.
Speaker A:First, being massage.
Speaker A:This is a really important tool that is overlooked.
Speaker A:We need human touch.
Speaker A:Without touch we tend to not thrive.
Speaker A:Basically it's like really hard for people to like fully go into parasympathetic without some form of human interaction.
Speaker A:So getting involved in with your community, volunteering, spending time in public places, getting inside of getting outside of the house.
Speaker A:I'm going to be starting to work from the library in my town instead of my home so that I don't have to be at home every day.
Speaker A:But just like literally taking every opportunity you can to connect to people is something that I think is really important and overlooked and kind of a problem for a lot of people who get stuck in to this place of being kind of high.
Speaker A:What happens is this, you basically develop maladaptive social cognition.
Speaker A:So maladaptive social cognition is when you start to perceive things that are not that negative.
Speaker A:Like a minor slight somebody would say to you as a major issue.
Speaker A:You start to perceive any sort of negative interaction with a person as is like a big deal.
Speaker A:And that further isolates you because then you don't want to spend time with people in public.
Speaker A:So it's this weird self destructive part of our brains which I fully don't understand why we would have developed something so self destructive.
Speaker A:But you have to actually remind yourself that you're just lonely you're just isolated.
Speaker A:You're not spending a lot of time with people.
Speaker A:You need to get out, you need to meet people, you need to get into your life.
Speaker A:And that takes effort and time.
Speaker A:And it's a lot easier for people to just sit in front of their phones and TV and just get sucked into distraction.
Speaker C:This is affecting so many of us, especially the elderly, I would say.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker C:And for those people that don't have the luxury of having a family unit, maybe they don't have children or multi generations living together, maybe they don't have a spouse.
Speaker C:That is a tough situation.
Speaker C:But everything you mentioned of volunteering, getting out into public places, but still, human touch may not be guaranteed.
Speaker C:People hardly even make eye contact now when they go out.
Speaker C:Like, everybody's just looking at their phone and it's.
Speaker C:It's hard to even meet people.
Speaker C:So just a quick side question, but how did you end up in Wyoming of all places?
Speaker C:Because that is.
Speaker C:That could be pretty isolating.
Speaker A:Well, there's less than 500,000 people in this state, so I moved here for a guy prematurely.
Speaker A:And the kind of person that would convince someone as strong as me to move in with them has to be a pretty convincing person.
Speaker A:And that experience was unfortunately not the best of my life, but I learned a lot from it.
Speaker A:And I realized that I would rather be outside of a toxic relationship than inside a luxurious environment.
Speaker A:So I.
Speaker A:Well, I left.
Speaker A:And it has not been easy, I'll be honest.
Speaker A:But it has also taught me so much about myself.
Speaker A:And there are some times in your life where I spent like the last decade being incredibly social and usually not really having to sit with a lot of discomfort because I always had something fun to do.
Speaker A:And when you encounter moments in your life that are challenging and you can't really run from them, it's actually a pretty.
Speaker A:It's a resilience building exercise because then you start to recognize that, like, you actually have a lot more strength in you.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And maybe there are.
Speaker A:There are times in one's life that it's better to slow down and not be doing so much and actually be more focused and less scattered.
Speaker A:So there's a time and a place for lots of people and crowds.
Speaker A:And it was pretty peaceful to be away from the election insanity when I was in, when I was getting to be here.
Speaker A:So there's that.
Speaker C:That was a good call on that one.
Speaker C:I'm curious.
Speaker C:So in the middle of all that, you got drawn into the study of science, of love and human connection?
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker C:Within the context of longevity.
Speaker A:So I, I have a talk that I give on longevity and get ready for another monologue.
Speaker A:But basically I believe that longevity is a product of thinking about the body through the lens of first principles.
Speaker A:There's a few things that you need to consider.
Speaker A:The first being, you have to have healthy energy metabolism in order to have the capacity to live a long and healthy life.
Speaker A:So that's kind of number one is you gotta have a healthy meta metabolism.
Speaker A:The second being, you have to have the ability to connect to that energy.
Speaker A:So there must be an energy source which is your food, your air, your water, and there must be an energy connection.
Speaker A:We also get energy from other people and we need to connect with other people in order to fully flourish.
Speaker A:Biology designed us this way because this was most likely to help us survive.
Speaker A:This is why it's conserved and this is why you see people who tend to live long and healthy lives tend to have healthy relationships.
Speaker A:Um, the third is you need to have a healthy sense of purpose.
Speaker A:Purpose is finding a reason for living, a reason for being.
Speaker A:And without having a deep sense of purpose, it's really easy to become subject to a lot of these diseases of despair, like depression, anxiety, ptsd, a lot of these really despairing diseases that can happen as a result of really big life challenges.
Speaker A:They can lead to suicide.
Speaker A:You need to find purpose.
Speaker A:And that's gonna be harder and harder in the next decade because AI is going to be replacing a lot of human jobs.
Speaker A:So you gotta be thinking about where's your career gonna be in the next 2, 5, 10, 20 years.
Speaker A:So purpose is key.
Speaker A:Then there's the other things that are really important, which is also you have to be able to maintain the integrity of the body.
Speaker A:I, despite having easily one of the most physically challenging years of my life, did a lot of regenerative medicine this year.
Speaker A:And I really believe in it at this point.
Speaker A:I really believe in stem cells and exosomes and peptides and HBOT and red light and pep and I already mentioned peptides.
Speaker A:Eboo.
Speaker A:Like a lot of these things that are considered fringe are what really works to fix yourself when you fall back, when you fall apart.
Speaker A:I'm so, so grateful for these regenerative medicine technologies like ion layer and honestly, just being able to track my health and be able to run labs and see, oh shit, that wildfire really, really screwed me up.
Speaker A:I need to fix my body.
Speaker A:After getting a massive toxic burden, I'm like regularly tracking my health as much as I'm con making my patients track their health and Tracking your health is kind of a non negotiable in this unfortunately toxic culture we live in.
Speaker A:Um, both food and air and water and products that we put in our bodies are super poisonous in America.
Speaker A:So we have to be way more vigilant with our health.
Speaker A:It sucks.
Speaker A:And then the last thing I'm gonna say is the unfortunate reality, and this is the thing I speak a lot about and when I give talks is your finances.
Speaker A:Having a healthy investment strategy for your life is really important for longevity.
Speaker A:It's probably one of the biggest factors, along with your energy metabolism and your human connections that will determine how long you live.
Speaker A:One of the things that I talk about is the relationship between energy currency on a molecular level and actually currency on a macro level.
Speaker A:And how it's really, really important to take care of yourself financially and to be wise about how you spend your money, because you need money to take care of oneself.
Speaker A:Even if you have health insurance or not, even if you have government paid health care, it still will determine a great, a great, a great amount of how long you're gonna live, because it's gonna determine what kind of doctors you can afford to see, what kind of care you can afford to get.
Speaker A:And it will also determine what kind of supplements you can afford to buy, what kind of medicines can you afford to pay for.
Speaker A:And sadly, it does make a difference in your longevity.
Speaker A:Human relationships impact all of this.
Speaker A:So human relationships will impact your finances.
Speaker A:Human relationships will impact your health because they will directly either add to your allosthetical burden or they will heal you.
Speaker A:Healthy relationships that are really healing are going to be giving you life.
Speaker A:And the tell of a good relationship is that you tend to look and become healthier.
Speaker A:The tell of a bad relationship is that you tend to get sicker and more unhealthy.
Speaker A:And a lot of people don't see this relationship and they choose to just believe it's independent of anything that's going on in their lives.
Speaker A:Which of course bad things can just happen to good people.
Speaker A:But more often than not, it's the stress of our lives that is impacting our health.
Speaker A:And our relationships will determine whether we have resources to heal.
Speaker A:They'll determine where we live, they will determine how we live.
Speaker A:Then there's the whole piece on sexuality.
Speaker A:If you decide to get married or if you decide to have a long term partnership, your sex life is what separates a romantic partner from a platonic friend.
Speaker A:And so when your sexual relationship of your, of your primary partnership declines, it's a symptom.
Speaker A:It can be A symptom or a cause of a relationship breaking down.
Speaker A:Because sexual connection is a fundamental part of life that some people pretend as though it's just this minor thing you do to make children.
Speaker A:But for most people who understand what sex is really about, it's.
Speaker A:It's a life giving sacred act that is not really addressed the same way nutrition, fitness, sleep, stress and detoxification, gut health is.
Speaker A:It's not looked at it.
Speaker A:We don't look at our sex lives like we look at all these other aspects of our wellness.
Speaker A:But typically when people get divorced it's because of their finances or their, or their sex life.
Speaker A:And unfortunately, I don't think most people are preparing for what long term relationships bring, which is it's going to become routine and it's going to become a little bit boring unless you decide that you're going to work on it.
Speaker A:And so when I developed the Adama method with Aaron Michael and said desolate, these two fanta fantastic sex therapists, part of the reason why I developed it was because I wanted to develop initially psychedelic assisted sex therapy.
Speaker A:I wanted to develop a therapy that could be combined with medicine and that would be able to actually change a person's neuroplastic plasticity to actually create new neural pathways to create greater capacity to have greater sex and less dysfunction.
Speaker A:But as you guys have probably noticed in the audience, the psychedelic space is kind of wax and waned over the last four years and it's kind of been up and down and we're not really sure where it's going to go from here, but it's going to go somewhere.
Speaker A:And when the time is right, we will be ready for launching the full program.
Speaker A:But unfortunately half of what we've developed is not going to be available to people until we legalize these things.
Speaker C:Gotcha.
Speaker C:Is what is Adamco or Adamo stands for?
Speaker A:Adamo is a Latin word for to fall in love and it's to be enchanted basically to fall in love and be enchanted.
Speaker A:And one of the things that we did with our first clinical study is we wanted to measure the outcomes of our program and specifically measure the outcomes on human love.
Speaker A:And so human love is the sex drive, the romantic love drive and the drive to attach.
Speaker A:And we, we mostly studied attached couples.
Speaker A:That mean we basically made that an inclusion criteria because we didn't want to create deeper attachments in people that maybe were brand new relationships with when they haven't really fully sussed out whether they're supposed to be together anyway.
Speaker A:The long and short of it is Basically these people that came into our study, they experienced an improvement in both sexual satisfaction and also romantic love.
Speaker A:And we didn't see a huge change in attachment because we chose committed couples, but we did see an improvement in passion and intimacy, which equates to greater romantic love.
Speaker A:We saw an improvement in sexual satisfaction, sexual communication, reductions in sexual shame, improvements in sexual confidence, improvements in orgasm frequency and quality in and improvements in engorge lasting time in men, improvements in arousal in women, and lubrication in women.
Speaker A:And we were pretty impressed by our ability to do this.
Speaker A:It was like first study of a sex therapy that was designed to teach people how to have sex.
Speaker A:Turns out if you teach people to have good sex, they have more satisfying sex and they're not as hungry for it because they're getting regularly good sex.
Speaker A:Just like you're not as hungry for food if you're getting regularly healthy meals.
Speaker A:You don't have that intense craving because you're just satisfied.
Speaker A:So we did see desire go down, but we didn't see it was more like people were so satisfied that they were having regular sex that they weren't like obsessively desiring it.
Speaker A:Which is really, really interesting.
Speaker C:Can you kind of explain how does your method differs from like traditional approaches to sex therapy like Masters and Johnson?
Speaker A:So Masters and Johnson basically believed that sex could not be taught.
Speaker A:And they thought it was just a natural, a natural act that anybody could do, which is not necessarily wrong.
Speaker A:But at the time nobody thought you could teach it because nobody tried.
Speaker A:But I'm like, did you guys ignore like the Kama Sutra?
Speaker A:Because that thing's been around for a long time and they were teaching sex.
Speaker A:I feel like Masters and Johnson maybe just didn't have a wide worldwide view of things.
Speaker A:Like I'm guessing in the 60s things weren't necessarily as widespread, but Daoism and Buddhism and a lot of ancient cultures basically were talking about sex as a thing that could be taught.
Speaker A:So it's not like a new thing that we are, we're learning, we're really translating ancient technology into modern science.
Speaker A:Masters and Johnson really pioneered this thing called sensei therapy, which was mindfulness based sensual touch.
Speaker A:And the thing that was really interesting about their method was it was very much oriented around what you enjoyed about your experience in touching someone else.
Speaker A:And it was so little was oriented around is my touch making this person feel good?
Speaker A:And it was more of is this touch making me feel good?
Speaker A:Which was an interesting paradigm to be thinking about.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So a lot of people, when they typically have sex they have a lot of anxiety around it.
Speaker A:Am I performing?
Speaker A:Do they like it?
Speaker A:And so what their aim was was to reduce anxiety around sex.
Speaker A:But what they kind of missed out on was that some people actually get turned on by anxiety.
Speaker A:So their perspectives were a little bit short sighted because they didn't see the full spectrum of people's arousal cues or erotic cues or turn ons.
Speaker A:So one of the things that we did in our method was decide to develop a way to help people explore what their desires and turn ons were.
Speaker A:Because we really believe that you need to understand yourself erotically because you're gonna change over time.
Speaker A:What turns you on a decade ago may not turn you on a decade later.
Speaker A:And getting in touch with those desires is important and being able to express those desires is important.
Speaker A:And there was not as much communic like verbal communication in their therapy.
Speaker A:Their therapy was largely oriented around nonverbal mindfulness based touch.
Speaker A:And they weren't really oriented around penetration.
Speaker A:It wasn't really their main focus.
Speaker A:And so we wanted to really teach penetrative sex.
Speaker A:Like we wanted to really teach what sex is, which is penetration.
Speaker A:Now there's non penetrative sex, there's oral sex, and there's plenty of things you can go online and learn about there.
Speaker A:But we really wanted to focus on the area that a lot of people had challenges with and that was with penetrative sex.
Speaker A:And so we went into very clear detail on how to have painless, pleasurable penetration.
Speaker A:And we think that this would be a great course for any faith based individuals that maybe have never even watched porn and don't even know what sex looks like.
Speaker A:To think about how would I get trained in how to have a great sex life?
Speaker C:Curious the the study that you mentioned, like how many people participated.
Speaker C:Can you just talk us through a little bit how, how the study went down and what you learned from it.
Speaker A:We had about a hundred people join and we had mostly committed, I mean pretty much committed couples who were in long term relationships.
Speaker A:It was mostly heteronormative because that's just people who self selected from our reach.
Speaker A:But we focused on people that were not dealing with organic causes of sexual dysfunction.
Speaker A:So we tried to rule out the organic issues.
Speaker A:We also tried to rule out the things that could be causing potential dropout, things like emotional abuse, physical abuse.
Speaker A:We didn't want those individuals included in the, in the program because we knew that our program was going to increase feelings of love and we didn't really want to bond people together if they weren't meant to be bonded together.
Speaker A:We ran it through a nine week program.
Speaker A:It was about, I think the whole study was over 10 weeks.
Speaker A:There was a introductory session and then week by week people were given more content that they would use with themselves and their partners to practice.
Speaker A:And so it was a partners based study and we had Q&As weekly for people to have people to questions answered.
Speaker A:But it was largely just people submitting their questions we didn't have.
Speaker A:It was not a group therapy session.
Speaker A:So most of the work was done by individuals with themselves, at home with their partners.
Speaker A:And as I mentioned, the outcomes were oriented around improvements in sexual satisfaction, redu.
Speaker A:Reductions in certain facets of sexual dysfunction, improvements in relational health, and improvements in love and connection.
Speaker A:Um, there was a specific measurement of love called emotional closeness.
Speaker A:And it's a measure of these little two circles and like how far apart they are is how emotionally disconnected you are.
Speaker A:And if they're completely overlapping, it's like total codependence.
Speaker A:And we took people from, I think it's zero to six, from three to four, which was a whole standard deviation improvement in what is considered to be a measurement of human love.
Speaker C:I'm just curious, during that span of, of the.
Speaker C:The study, did, did the participants have like videos to watch or was there a real.
Speaker A:Okay, videos.
Speaker A:Every week.
Speaker A:It was all online.
Speaker A:All an online program.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker A:So videos, written practices, journaling practices, meditation practices, breathwork practices.
Speaker A:But all of it was explained through video format.
Speaker A:We actually taped it with masterclass quality video.
Speaker C:And so your program that you rolling out is basically the same thing that was in the study.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker C:And that's sort of like your.
Speaker C:The first half of the program that you rolling out beside the.
Speaker C:Besides the psychedelics.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:I mean the program is now evergreen.
Speaker A:So we're not requiring people to go to a weekly Q and A session.
Speaker A:But we do have the ability to answer any questions at any time for people.
Speaker C:So people felt more bonded, they.
Speaker C:They got closer.
Speaker C:The level of.
Speaker C:I'm assuming their skill level has improved.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So in the bedroom, sexual mechanics, we'd actually didn't measure sexual skills.
Speaker A:But let me see if I can pull up our, my presentation that I gave on this.
Speaker A:I'm trying to figure out where I.
Speaker A:But I think I downloaded it.
Speaker A:So we presented at the Sexual Health alliance recently and we presented our, our study, our program and we also talked about how we compare to Masters and Johnson and then what were the big outcomes or basically.
Speaker A:Basically what were like the main constituents of the method and then what were the, the outcomes?
Speaker A:One Thing I will say is that right now when people have sex, they're mostly having friction based sex, which means the sex is like pretty much in and out, in and out, right?
Speaker A:And you mostly feel sensation on the entrance of the vagina.
Speaker A:And frankly, I don't think men realize that like when you have suction based sex, you can actually have way more sensation because you're actually feeling more of the body.
Speaker A:There's more contact during suction based sex and there's more lubrication and you don't need as much stamina for suction based sex versus friction based sex.
Speaker A:And anyway, so we teach people about how to master their hip movements, how to master weight for movement.
Speaker A:And then our study was basically a total of, I think we had 16 dropouts.
Speaker A:So we had a total of 83 users.
Speaker A:And then we had a bunch of eligibility criteria.
Speaker A:And we saw pretty significant, we had pretty high rates of, of engagement.
Speaker A:Like engagement levels were very high.
Speaker A:We had very low attrition rates, we had very high satisfaction and practicality scores for an online format.
Speaker A:Retention rate at, was 84% at a key endpoint, which was about halfway through.
Speaker A:So most of the dropouts were unrelated to the program.
Speaker A:And a 16% dropout rate is pretty, pretty low.
Speaker A:Actually the average of most online program dropout rates is 30%.
Speaker A:So we did feel like the content was highly engaging.
Speaker A:And then Peggy Kleinplatz is like this amazing woman who created this thing called Magnificent Sex.
Speaker A:And we actually had an improvement of 16.76 in sexual satisfaction of the new sexual satisfaction scale.
Speaker A:And this was about 5 points higher than hers, which was 11.7.
Speaker A:So surprisingly we had an A, better, better, better outcomes with an online program that didn't require any group therapy.
Speaker A:And so one of the things that was really interesting was sexual frequency went up and sexual duration went up.
Speaker A:So people were having sex more often and for longer and sexual routine went down about 30%.
Speaker A:So people were actually having less sense of boredom and routine.
Speaker A:That's another thing that a lot of people forget about is that we're taking like long term couples who've been stuck in routines and they're changing their routine.
Speaker A:And so personal sexual satisfaction, partner and partnered satisfaction, total sexual satisfaction, all of these went up at least 30% in individuals, which was a lot.
Speaker A:And over 86% of participants said that they improved their sexual satisfaction when they were finished with, which is a pretty high, pretty high score.
Speaker A:That was the main thing that, that the main outcome that we found.
Speaker C:You mentioned suction sex.
Speaker C:Is that a term you guys coined or is that just something you adopted into your program?
Speaker A:When I started working with Aaron Michael, I said to Aaron, okay, so when we, when we're putting this program out into the world, what is the major innovation in this, in this program that we're going to be teaching people?
Speaker A:And he said, we're going to be teaching people how to have sex with suction.
Speaker A:And then he ended up actually going out and building his entire personal brand around that, which is fine.
Speaker A:But we were surprised when he trademarked it while he was working with our company because it was kind of just interesting.
Speaker A:But anyway, we're not going to go find his trademark.
Speaker A:But it's, it's something that is really, I wouldn't say anyone personally invented it.
Speaker A:I think it's more of a technique that is just different than what we're typically seeing.
Speaker A:I think a lot of people do have suction sex without even knowing that they're doing it.
Speaker A:And it's really about focusing on hip movements instead of thrust movements.
Speaker A:Instead of thrusting in and out, you're thrusting up and down.
Speaker A:So there's more hips move, hip hips, hip movements, and more sensation because there's more touch between partners, which leads to more of a suction based connection versus a friction based connection.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Can you discuss the concept of embodied consent, consent between the partners, and what does it mean to embody the consent physiologically, not just verbally?
Speaker A:I would say when you are enthusiastically giving verbal consent, that's great.
Speaker A:But a lot of non consensual activity happens in a initially verbally consensual context.
Speaker A:So this is where I think we have a role in educating the population about this.
Speaker A:Because if you can embody consent, then you can actually be able to read a person saying yes or no.
Speaker A:And if a person says yes or no, then a person is able to.
Speaker A:If you say yes or no to a person with your body and they can read you and respond, that is what.
Speaker A:That creates what's called attunement.
Speaker A:So you're attuning to another person because you're actually witnessing their reactions and adjusting your behavior based on those reactions.
Speaker A:And so unfortunately, a lot of people don't read body language well.
Speaker A:And that's a problem because now we have people that are hurting each other without realizing that they're doing that.
Speaker A:And unfortunately that creates a really uncomfortable environment for people in the bedroom and in some cases even leads to real trauma.
Speaker A:And one of the things that we really want to aim to do is create safer sexual experiences for people because we know that Safe sex is great sex.
Speaker C:So you essentially show people how to express it with their bodies.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker A:There's practices where without any verbal words or all, you basically know that yes is open and no is closed.
Speaker A:And so you have your partner, you, You.
Speaker A:You go closer to your partner.
Speaker A:You try to approach your partner and you there.
Speaker A:And your job is.
Speaker A:Is to actually respond with a yes or a no.
Speaker A:And so you start doing this attunement practice, and your bodies are reading.
Speaker A:Oh, that's your no.
Speaker A:Okay, now I know what your no means.
Speaker A:And that way a person can slow down and change their pace and figure out and maybe, maybe say, hey, is that.
Speaker A:Is this working for you?
Speaker A:And just really just speak up and communicate when they need to or just adjust their behavior.
Speaker A:A lot of people don't do this properly.
Speaker A:And so they're entering experiences that.
Speaker A:Or maybe they have just like, bad experiences that they wish they wouldn't have had because they didn't know how to say yes or no, or their partner didn't know how to read that they were saying no.
Speaker A:And this really goes back to polyvagal theory.
Speaker A:So as much as this is like a term that was originally developed by C.
Speaker A:Desolay, it was also really.
Speaker A:It was really discovered, I would say, by Stephen Porges, because Stephen Porges discovered the polyvagal theory.
Speaker A:And really the way that people will fight flight freeze or freeze in the.
Speaker A:In the.
Speaker A:In the midst of a traumatic experience.
Speaker A:And in a freeze response, your body's going to.
Speaker A:Going to freeze up and you're gonna try to protect yourself.
Speaker A:And if you're in a calm, happy ventral vagal response, you're gonna be open.
Speaker A:And so there's a bit of a difference in how a person responds based on their body language.
Speaker A:And if you learn what polyvagal theory is all about, it's really about recognizing when you're in a threat state versus a safe state, and the ventral state is the safe state.
Speaker A:And so it's really a combination of a lot of different works that's kind of been put together into this one method.
Speaker C:Now, what are some of the strategies for women specifically to communicate sort of sexual dissatisfaction with their partners in a constructive way?
Speaker C:Because I think a lot of.
Speaker C:I guess it could go both ways that partners have a hard time.
Speaker C:They don't want to offend, they don't want to make the person feel bad, but they are not happy with what the other person is doing.
Speaker C:What is a good way to do?
Speaker A:Well, I mean, first and foremost, the biggest mistake women make, and I've totally been guilty of.
Speaker A:This is faking it.
Speaker A:So when you fake it, you're training your man to keep doing the thing that you don't like.
Speaker A:That's unfortunately not pleasant.
Speaker A:I would recommend you turn the bedroom into more of a play, like more of a playtime place versus a serious place.
Speaker A:So you don't want to make sex serious.
Speaker A:That's not sexy.
Speaker A:You don't want to be like, hey, but honey, like I really don't like when you do this.
Speaker A:Will you please stop?
Speaker A:They're going to be like, oh God, I feel really bad about myself and ashamed.
Speaker A:Best thing you can do is make it playful and make it fun.
Speaker A:Send them like a sexy text and be like, I'd love for you to do to me.
Speaker A:And give them feedback in a way that is like seductive.
Speaker A:We need to make sex sexy.
Speaker A:So don't be unsexy about how you give feedback.
Speaker A:Because if you're giving a man like direct feedback, he's just gonna turn off and be like, fuck this, I'm done.
Speaker A:Sorry to cuss, but that's how men think.
Speaker A:They're very ego oriented and they have very fragile egos and you have to protect their fragile egos.
Speaker A:And so the best thing you can do is to pump up your man and make him feel confident and then make him tell him what you want.
Speaker A:Be like, I really want you to do this to me.
Speaker A:Will you do this to me?
Speaker A:And do it in a way that turns em on.
Speaker A:And don't underestimate the power of lingerie.
Speaker A:Men love lingerie.
Speaker A:Let's just get real.
Speaker A:Like they love it.
Speaker A:I, I hate to put a couple.
Speaker A:They say this is game playing because it's not about game playing.
Speaker A:But you do need to make it a little bit of a game because you need to get them to feel like they won.
Speaker A:And men like to feel like the hero.
Speaker A:And they're not gonna feel like the hero if they feel like they're disappointing you.
Speaker A:So first step is stop faking it.
Speaker A:Because if you're faking it, they don't actually know what they're doing.
Speaker A:They don't know if what they're doing is good or bad.
Speaker A:So you need to be using your response in the bedroom as a direct reflection of how much you enjoy what they're doing.
Speaker A:If you're just giving them like reactions for the sake of reacting, then they're just gonna get lost.
Speaker A:Cause they're gonna think they're gonna keep doing all the things that they don't.
Speaker A:You actually don't want them to do.
Speaker A:And so the best bet for you is to be is to actually communicate what you are into.
Speaker A:I've heard about this course, the Adama Method, and I really want to take this with you.
Speaker A:I think this could help us both learn about what would make, what would make sex amazing.
Speaker A:And I just want to get better in the bedroom.
Speaker A:I want to please you more.
Speaker A:And men love hearing I want to please you more.
Speaker A:Even though what you really want is them to please you more, it's really about making it making, getting them motivated to want to do the thing that you want them to do.
Speaker A:But it has to be their idea.
Speaker A:So you should be like, well, I was thinking about taking this course and I really want to learn to be amazing in bed and would you do this with me?
Speaker A:And sometimes they may have to be like, I don't know.
Speaker A:You can take the course on your own and still learn a lot.
Speaker A:I'm not necessarily recommending people go watch porn, but if you do find a specific type of porn that like hopefully is not too degrading or screwed up, maybe that's what you're into, I don't know.
Speaker A:But when you find things that you like that you're watching and maybe there's something you see because not all porn is bad.
Speaker A:Some porn is actually really cool and there's actually healthy porn out there.
Speaker A:There is porn made for women.
Speaker A:And if you can find examples of what it is that you like, it's gonna be easier to teach your partner, Hey, I really wanna watch this with you.
Speaker A:It's like really turns me on.
Speaker A:It sounds crazy, but actually it works.
Speaker A:Men love seeing a woman turned on and a woman interested in her own sexuality and a woman interested in her own pleasure is sexy.
Speaker A:That's hot.
Speaker A:Men want to see you turned on, they want to see you in bliss, they want to see you in ecstasy and they want to give that to you.
Speaker A:But the thing is that, that you have to let them give it to you and not force them to do it.
Speaker A:Oh my God.
Speaker A:There is this amazing Ali Wong special and she's talking about she, she broke up with a guy because he wouldn't go down on her.
Speaker A:And I broke up with guys cuz they didn't go down on me, right?
Speaker A:And I want to get into this topic because this is like a much bigger conversation that goes way beyond the Adama method.
Speaker A:So basically he was like, well, why didn't you just ask?
Speaker A:And she goes, what am I supposed to do?
Speaker A:She, she just starts going fee 5 like give me head.
Speaker A:And it was just like, so silly.
Speaker A:And she's like, what am I supposed to do?
Speaker A:Just demand that you go down on me?
Speaker A:That obviously is like, the most unsexy way for her to be like, hey, baby, I want you to go down on me.
Speaker A:Like, that's not hot.
Speaker A:But I want to get into the topic of vaginal health because this is something that I know a lot about.
Speaker A:We as women and men are not having a good enough conversation with each other about the realities of sex.
Speaker A:So when you have sex with someone, you are sharing saliva with that person, you are sharing bodily fluids with that person.
Speaker A:And if you are using a condom, you're still sharing bodily fluids with that person.
Speaker A:You're still touching each other naked, you're still sharing your microbiomes of your skin with each other.
Speaker A:So sexually transmitted diseases are not just gonorrhea and chlamydia and genital warts and herpes.
Speaker A:Sexually transmitted diseases can be sexually transmitted oral health, you can get.
Speaker A:Sexually transmitted skin diseases, you can get.
Speaker A:BV can be given to you by a guy.
Speaker A:Like, you can go from having a beautifully smelling vagina to having one date with one guy in one sex session.
Speaker A:And you pick up mycoplasma hominis or uriaplasma, your urolidiacum.
Speaker A:And if you notice that the scent of your vagina or your.
Speaker A:You as a man does not smell great, it may not be your fault.
Speaker A:It actually could be that you had a partner that gave you something that your doctor's not even testing for.
Speaker A:And guess what?
Speaker A:BV is not something that isn't is totally innocuous.
Speaker A:Turns out that they treat urea plasma in China.
Speaker A:In our country, they don't even test you for it unless you ask your doctor.
Speaker A:So there are literally millions of women walking around with bacterial vaginosis that, by the way, can cause infertility.
Speaker A:And doctors don't even know how to give people advice on this.
Speaker A:And how do I know so much about this?
Speaker A:Well, I had a client that was in that they were out of town, they were seeing a new partner, and they were developing all these symptoms, and they went to this doctor and the doctor tested them for all the basic STIs.
Speaker A:Nothing came back.
Speaker A:And they said, we are still really suffering.
Speaker A:We don't know what we're dealing with.
Speaker A:And it turns out they were polyamorous.
Speaker A:And I'm not saying all poly people are have to be worried about this, but honestly, every single person who has sex should be worried about this.
Speaker A:And that's that these can These sexually transmitted infections are not always symptomatic.
Speaker A:Some people have no symptoms.
Speaker A:Mostly men have no symptoms.
Speaker A:So women are picking up these.
Speaker A:These bacteria that are intracellular bacteria from people, and they're getting.
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:They're getting a change in their vaginal ph and they're blaming themselves when actually it's their partner they gave it to them in the first place.
Speaker A:And these are not easy to treat.
Speaker A:You have to usually take antibiotics for them.
Speaker A:So I would love to do an entire episode on, like, how to have a conversation about sex before you have sex, because the truth is, is that most people are not getting tested properly.
Speaker A:A lot more people are having condomless sex than before the pandemic, because that's what I'm seeing.
Speaker A:And a lot of people are unaware of how many different conditions that you can get from a partner.
Speaker A:I once made out with a guy who was a smoker who lived in Haiti, and he gave me periodontitis that came out of the blue.
Speaker A:I had no gum issues.
Speaker A:And then I had deep pockets within three months of seeing this guy.
Speaker A:And where did that come from?
Speaker A:That came from the bacteria that he gave me.
Speaker A:So I had to do this whole process of optimizing my oral health in order to get my mouth back to normal.
Speaker A:And now I have perfect teeth again, I got it from a partner.
Speaker A:So when it comes to talking about what you want and what you don't want, I also think it's really important to be like, hey, when's the last time you went to the dentist?
Speaker A:And honestly, if somebody has really bad breath, you should tell them, because you're going to get that in your mouth.
Speaker A:You're going to get their oral microbiome in your mouth, and you're going to start getting their issues before you know it.
Speaker A:So I just think we are not really having big enough conversations around the fact that sex is so much more than just a penis and a vagina.
Speaker A:It is an energetic exchange.
Speaker A:It is a microbiome exchange.
Speaker A:It is potential disease exchange.
Speaker A:I wish somebody would have told this to me in high school because instead of being afraid of sex, I would have been aware of, like, the.
Speaker A:The reality that sex is going to change you.
Speaker A:Every time you have sex with a new person, you are adopting a new microbiome from that person, and that.
Speaker A:That is changing you biologically because you're having new genes introduced from these bacteria into your body.
Speaker A:You might be getting new viruses, you might be getting new fungi.
Speaker A:And I just think that, like, sex is amazing and beautiful, but I am Way more careful now that I know what the ramifications are because I've seen a lot as a doctor and I think that I know more about, unfortunately, sex than most doctors know.
Speaker A:Wow, that.
Speaker C:That is pretty scary.
Speaker A:Actually.
Speaker C:Everything you mentioned, the thing that, I.
Speaker A:Mean, really, you could just unexplained infertility from these bacteria that are not being treated.
Speaker C:And, and so much of it can be transmitted orally too.
Speaker C:You don't even have to get to third base or anywhere to, to, to get something from a partner.
Speaker C:And, and the problem is these discussions are not very sexy, especially when, when you're still in the date dating phase with somebody and you haven't even got to the point of having a sexual relationship with somebody.
Speaker C:And how do you ask those questions in a way that doesn't turn into an interrogation?
Speaker A:I think honestly, it's really tough.
Speaker A:I think the most important thing is that there's always compassion and there's always a real desire for safety and health and love and really caring about a person.
Speaker A:And honestly, just getting to know a person before you sleep with them because it's really easy to people get for people to get attached.
Speaker A:Men and women, if you have really great sex with someone, it is super easy to fall into the trap of, well, we just have such a great sexual connection.
Speaker A:And then you realize you're totally incompatible people.
Speaker A:Like totally incompatible.
Speaker A:Like no compatibility, no life compatibility whatsoever.
Speaker A:So I really think that we need to go a little bit more traditional with our dating and go back in time and go back to high school.
Speaker A:I mean, kids in high school are having orgies.
Speaker A:We need to get back into a place of courtship, period.
Speaker A:Really getting to know someone, really being sure that you want to share your body with this person.
Speaker A:Because it can really hurt people to have sex that can be, I mean, really beautiful.
Speaker A:Sex with a man that blows his mind can completely shatter him if you break up with him.
Speaker A:And same thing goes for, if you get really attached to a guy because you had sex with him and you turned on the, you turn on those hormones, it can create a really big problem for detachment.
Speaker A:You're really, really tough to detach.
Speaker A:And the key to good, strong dating as a woman is remaining detached as long as possible before you're certain that this person is someone you should attach to.
Speaker C:Now a lot of sort of high achieving women are quite disconnected from their feminine energy.
Speaker C:And what does it mean for a woman to embrace sort of like both their feminine masculine energies?
Speaker C:And why is this balance so important?
Speaker A:Oh God.
Speaker A:As a woman who has had to reclaim her femininity.
Speaker A:I can speak to this.
Speaker A:I feel like the fun thing about my job and the fun thing about being in this space is, like, I can.
Speaker A:I can with integrity, tell people.
Speaker A:I have dealt with a lot of the things that I'm describing today.
Speaker A:I've dealt with sexual dysfunction.
Speaker A:I have had challenges in relationships.
Speaker A:I have had to have conversations about STIs with partners and be like, hey, so did you get tested for this?
Speaker A:I literally asked a guy, hey, will you please test for these things?
Speaker A:And he said he got tested, and then he didn't.
Speaker A:So I've had to have that conversation.
Speaker A:Hey, when I told you to get tested for these, well, you just gave me one.
Speaker A:I've had to have conversations with guys about, hey, did you know that you have gum disease?
Speaker A:And you gave it to me.
Speaker A:I've had all of these challenges, so I can actually speak to the reality that it's not an easy place to navigate sex as a woman in a modern world without being a little bit in your masculine, because you're just like, Jesus, it's a war zone out there.
Speaker A:But the beauty of femininity is it's actually not that complicated.
Speaker A:And by the way, this is a very heteronormative conversation.
Speaker A:So for anyone out there that is a homosexual that's listening, I am apologizing to you ahead of time that we are not catering to that audience.
Speaker A:But, I mean, that's because I'm.
Speaker A:I'm not.
Speaker A:I'm not gay.
Speaker A:But I do understand that we're not really catering to a broad audience here.
Speaker A:However, I will say that I do personally, really deeply believe that men and women are different and that polarity is life and that we need polarity for thriving.
Speaker A:We need to embrace our feminine capacities.
Speaker A:And our femininity is one of the most powerful, beautiful things about being human.
Speaker A:And yet we have been convinced by feminine feminism that we need to do everything and that nobody, nobody needs to take care of us.
Speaker A:We can take care of ourselves.
Speaker A:And the truth is, is that there are some pros and cons of being able to provide for oneself.
Speaker A:Like, I love that.
Speaker A:I love the empowerment of being financially independent.
Speaker A:I find it deeply satisfying to make money and be able to pick up and travel anywhere in the world.
Speaker A:I want to go and buy whatever I want for myself.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:That makes me feel really good.
Speaker A:I also like receiving gifts, and I also like being taken out to dinner, and I like.
Speaker A:I like being taken on trips.
Speaker A:So I like both being in my masculine and making Money.
Speaker A:But I also like being in my feminine and being treated like a woman.
Speaker A:When I moved to Texas and left California, I really learned to re embrace my femininity because in Texas, women are women.
Speaker A:It's definitely, definitely not California.
Speaker A:It's a different state.
Speaker A:And at the same time what I learned was, is that I rediscovered the fun of getting glammed up and doing my hair and doing my makeup and putting on a dress and coming go, leaving the house and looking nice and realizing that getting my nails done and, and even though I try to avoid it because it's totally toxic, it just feels good to put on heels and go out and look sexy.
Speaker A:And it's funny because I started to do some work with the company Florida Mall, which is the sexiest clothing company that I think Amer in America.
Speaker A:And they invited me to their store and asked me to try out some clothes to wear for this presentation I was giving for their audience.
Speaker A:And I put on easily the sexiest dress I've ever worn in my entire life.
Speaker A:I felt like I was a different person because the version of me in San Francisco was always masculine on purpose.
Speaker A:Because you were not rewarded for being feminine in San Francisco.
Speaker A:If you were feminine, you were not taken seriously.
Speaker A:So you kind of had to look neutral, put on suit jackets, wear business shoes, go to business conferences.
Speaker A:Like you weren't really taken seriously if you were ultra sexy.
Speaker A:And when I started kind of dressing more to suit my body and realized that when I basically put on a really hot dress, I was treated very differently.
Speaker A:I'm not going to put on a super sexy cleavage showing dress for a podcast recording.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I'm not going to like.
Speaker A:But if I'm going to go out on a date, yeah, of course I'm going to put a dress on and look cute.
Speaker A:That's what I want to do.
Speaker A:I want to look cute for my, for my date.
Speaker A:But there's a time and a place for turning on the sexy and turning off the masculine.
Speaker A:So one of the things that I've read for women that work is you really want to have your morning routine and your evening routine that are really oriented around being feminine.
Speaker A:My mom is always, always wears these beautiful robes that are super feminine.
Speaker A:And when she gets ready in the morning and when she's getting ready for bed, she's wearing a nightie and she's wearing a robe.
Speaker A:And I always like really admired my mom for being so feminine.
Speaker A:She never went out of the house without makeup on.
Speaker A:Like she always looked dolled up no matter where she goes And I think that there's something to be said about the pandemic culture created a culture of, of sweats and not really taking care of our appearance.
Speaker A:And the sad thing about that is that it's created this sort of effect of like, women have kind of stopped trying.
Speaker A:And it sounds so anti feminist to be like, well, you need to try harder.
Speaker A:But actually we all do because we're losing our femininity to the culture of, of masculine work.
Speaker A:And I think it's important to reclaim your femininity.
Speaker A:And like Gab Gabrielle Leon was on stage at Eudaimonia.
Speaker A:And I love her example of femininity because she is jacked like no other.
Speaker A:But she is a feminine woman.
Speaker A:I mean, when she gets on stage, she wears beautiful dresses that are, that like, really fit her body and she's not trying to cover up her being a woman.
Speaker A:And I think that's a really beautiful statement that she's able to make as the, as a working moment, as a leader.
Speaker A:She can actually put on a hot dress and get up, put on that beautiful drag dress and get on stage and not lose herself in, not, not feel like she's losing anything in the audience by, by wearing a dress.
Speaker A:There's a way to be beautiful and feminine while being taken seriously.
Speaker A:But sometimes when you're kind of dating, you don't want to intimidate a guy by wearing like a business suit to a dinner, right?
Speaker A:That's gonna make him feel a little bit weird, right?
Speaker A:So I think that femininity comes from a bunch of different things.
Speaker A:There's the physical I talked a lot about, but then there's the spiritual.
Speaker A:I really believe that femininity is both fierce and powerful, like nature.
Speaker A:But it's also, it can be very, very, very calm and quiet and peaceful.
Speaker A:And when I'm meditating and when I'm doing breath work, when I'm doing my practices, that's when I feel the most feminine because I feel the most connected to God.
Speaker A:And I think when you really connect to God and get quiet and calm and just focused and do yoga practices and just really get into your body through dance and, and through anything that gets you into your body and out of your mind, that is the most feminine place you can be.
Speaker A:And that's part of the reason why these rituals of beauty are, are important for us, because they get you into your body.
Speaker A:You want to treat your body like it's a temple.
Speaker A:You want to worship your body like it's a temple, and you want to really take care of it and if you don't do that, then you're kind of treating it like it's not a big deal, not an important thing.
Speaker A:But your body is the most precious thing you own in this material existence.
Speaker A:And I personally really love buying jewelry for myself.
Speaker A:I love sparkly things.
Speaker A:I like wearing accessories.
Speaker A:This is the funniest thing I learned from my friend Eric Weinstein.
Speaker A:He said the more accessories you wear that are completely useless, the more feminine you look.
Speaker A:Like bows, for example.
Speaker A:Totally useless, but you look feminine in a bow.
Speaker A:Like scarves that don't actually cover much of your neck.
Speaker A:Very feminine, but don't actually have any real purpose because they're not actually keeping you warm.
Speaker A:Hand jewelry.
Speaker A:There's no purpose for a hand piece of hand jewelry except for beauty.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Gloves, for example.
Speaker A:I love wearing like evening gloves when I'm out for a gala or something.
Speaker A:Anything that's kind of extra that you don't actually need, that you're putting on your body will make you feel and look more feminine.
Speaker A:So I really believe that a woman should feel like a goddess.
Speaker A:The more that I've gotten into jewelry, the more I feel like a goddess and the more that I feel more in my feminine.
Speaker C:So I want to wrap up this amazing conversation we had so far.
Speaker C:If you can give like one practical tip for long term couples to bring the sexy back in the bedroom, what is one thing that they can do or learn learn to do?
Speaker A:Well, I would say that most people that are in long term relationships have kind of lost the art of making out and making out and grinding with clothes on for like an hour.
Speaker A:Don't let your partner have sex with you for an hour.
Speaker A:Be like, make them tease them for an hour.
Speaker A:Just tease them with making out and make them basically have to rip your clothes off.
Speaker A:That is something that you we've lost because once you are in a long term committed relationship, it's like, okay, whatever, let's have sex, let's take our clothes off.
Speaker A:Well, you're losing the foreplay, you're losing all of that beauty.
Speaker A:And the thing I also learned that is definitely not included in the program, but it is something that I learned from Aaron Michael is that you can use suction with oral sex.
Speaker A:Not just bad, not just penetrative sex.
Speaker A:So when you're giving a blowjob or you're having oral or you're giving a woman cunningus and you're going down on your partner, add suction to the stimulation and it will transform the experience for your partner.
Speaker A:It is so much More sensational when there's more contact with your mouth and their genitals.
Speaker A:So I'd say start with more foreplay, more grinding with clothes on, making out, teasing, striptease.
Speaker A:Do all the things that you would not really think about doing.
Speaker A:It's really fun to actually learn how to give a proper striptease.
Speaker A:There's a woman that's called.
Speaker A:That's developed this thing called the S factor, and it literally teaches women how to have.
Speaker A:How to be strippers.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:I was like, holy, this is really sexy.
Speaker A:So I do recommend checking out the S factor for women that are really out of touch with their sexuality and sensuality, because it's important to find out what kind of sensual type you are.
Speaker A:If you're the challenger, you might be a little bit more aggressive with your partner, and if you're the sensual, you might be a little bit more.
Speaker A:There's different.
Speaker A:There's different types that.
Speaker A:That are in that state.
Speaker A:So I think it's really important to get to know who you are as a sexual being.
Speaker A:And I just gave you, like, five dips, so that's enough.
Speaker C:Wow, we have so much to learn.
Speaker C:So, Dr.
Speaker C:Molly, how can we get a hold of your course?
Speaker C:And I think you also work with practitioners as well, right?
Speaker A:We have a practitioner's course for sex therapists, physicians, pelvic floor therapists, frankly, any.
Speaker A:Any type of therapist that wants to teach sex to their clients and be able to prescribe a course on sexual mechanics.
Speaker A:It's actually great for people that are in the religious faiths as well.
Speaker A:If you want to teach new, new married couples about sex, this is a great program for that.
Speaker A:It's at Living Adamo, a D a m o livingadamo.com thank you so much for tuning in.
Speaker D:This is Maya.
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Speaker D:Better conversations, better tools, and health strategies that are actually built for our physiology.
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Speaker D:The views expressed on this podcast are solely those of the speakers and do not reflect the host's opinions.
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